The good, the bad, and the bias.

Young persons like to think they have less bias than their parents, but in fact they are simply bigoted about different things. Many are down on fat people, smokers, and people who drive Humvees, for example, rather than race or sexual orientation.

Our sneaky self.

Bias, sometimes referred to as prejudice, is a learned or emotional predisposition to believe a certain way, regardless of the facts. Psychologists tell us that a bias exists if our views are subjective rather than neutral or objective. All of us display considerable bias, and when used in a purposeful manner, that can be useful. For example, believing everything will work out in the end helps us better cope with daily life.

Because of its invisibility, bias is also risky. Hardwired into our thinking process, we fail to recognize its presence, even though we may be obstinately devoted to it. We selectively seek evidence that supports our perceptions and beliefs, and are averse to look for evidence that might contradict them. We take credit for our triumphs, while blaming circumstances or bad luck for our personal failures. In short, we don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are (see: It’s not all about you).

Behold, the great Oz!

Gen NeXters are particularly susceptible. Feelings of superiority, fostered by doting Boomer parents, can reduce objectivity and encourage you to overestimate your knowledge or ability. This illusion of superiority, also called the “Lake Wobegon” effect (named after Garrison Keillor’s fictional town where “all the children are above average”), arises because we consider ourselves better than average in most things we do (superiority trap*). This gets in the way of improving our self.

Psychologist Marshall Goldsmith is one of corporate America’s preeminent executive coaches and has helped more than one hundred CEOs attain a higher level of success. In his 2007 book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Goldsmith describes how we stubbornly cling to our views even when our flaws are exposed. When someone has the impudence to suggest that we change our ways, we maintain our saint-like feelings and regard them with unadulterated bafflement:

1. First, we think the other person is confused. They have us mixed up with someone who truly does need to change, but we are not that person.
2. Second, as it dawns on us that maybe the other party is not confused—maybe their information about our perceived shortcomings is accurate—we deny that their criticism applies to us. After all, no one knows us better than we do.
3. Finally, when all else fails, we attack the other party and discredit the messenger. “Meh,” we think, “why is a smart (cool) person like me listening to a loser like you?”

Reduce the barriers.

The superiority trap is a heady defense mechanism to overcome and calling attention to it is irritating to anyone, young or old. Here are a few tips to help break the ice:

1. Consider other perspectives. Pause and examine the issues through another person’s eyes. You’ll be less likely to make a judgment based on prior convictions.
2. Be objective. Make sure your level of confidence is based on objective evidence rather than how it is presented. Suppress favorable reasons for a decision and state one good reason against it. This can help expose weaknesses in your arguments.
3. Be mindful of your shortcomings. No one wants to admit that they are below average or even only average. Yet, this non-admission prevents us from being better drivers, better investors, and better voters. It’s okay to say, “I could be wrong.”

While we see ourselves the way we believe that other people see us, research shows that there is usually not a good match with others’ actual evaluations. The effects appear strongest when people rate themselves on abilities at which they are totally incompetent. Psychologists call this the Dunning–Kruger effect, which is interpreted as an inability for a person to recognize their own incompetence. We all know someone like this…

You can learn a great deal about yourself from what others directly tell you (Srivastava, 2012). Often, your own self-views are quite different from the views your family members or friends have of you (Vazire, 2010). Explaining your thoughts to a trusted adult and having them challenge your reasoning opens the possibility that poor habits (and pissy attitudes) can be improved!

* Questionable beliefs can “trap” our better judgment, leading to poor decisions and unintended consequences. In the superiority trap, we often exaggerate the extent of our knowledge, ability, or memory in the belief that we are better than average in most things we do. Learn more about this, and other traps, in the Young Person’s Guide to Wisdom, Power, and Life Success.

Image credit: “Portrait of handsome young man in urban background” by Javier Sanchez Mingorance, licensed from 123rf.com (2015).