Your guiding light

Mentoring 102: Mentors provide wisdom and expertise that can help advance careers, enhance education, and guide personal lives. Many of the world’s most successful people have benefited from having a mentor.

Considering a mentor?

Like all worthwhile pursuits, finding a mentor takes work and involves some risk (see: Your guiding light – Mentoring 101). First and foremost, clearly define the kind of person for whom you would like to be a mentee. You’ll want to find a person that you naturally enjoy being with, has more experience than you have, and who is willing to help encourage you to win in life. Your ideal mentor should be:

Completely honest. This is a critical attribute. A mentor must call ’em as they see ’em. Like the loving uncle or aunt who occasionally takes you aside and tells you things you need to hear, but frankly don’t necessarily want to hear.
A good model. Mentors teach by example. They must be competent and let you watch what they do as part of the learning process. You must see qualities in them you admire and that you would like to have one day.
Deeply committed. Both of you must approach the relationship seriously. Your mentor must be dedicated to your growth development, and stay primarily on your agenda, not their own. Benefits from mentoring often take considerable time; in some cases, years.
Open and transparent. Every mentor experienced struggles the mentee never sees. Ask your mentor to share their struggles and failures, as well as stories of success. Much can be learned from what went wrong as well as from what went right.
A skilled teacher. A mentor must share their knowledge and wisdom in ways that a mentee can understand. It’s important that they have strong interpersonal skills, be an excellent communicator, and be patient.
A believer in you. A mentor must be realistic in assessing your capabilities. They need to look at you and say, “Yes, I believe this person has tremendous potential. If I invest some of my life in this person, I think they have what it takes to make a real difference.”
Worldly wise. A good mentor has personal strength and is an enthusiastic, lifelong learner. If each member is receptive to learning from the other, an atmosphere of mutual respect is established early.

The relationship you want is adult-to-adult, not adult-to-child or child-to-child. Once you have identified a man or woman who satisfies these requirements, you’ve located a potential mentor. In a future post, we’ll look at some steps to get you off on the right foot.

Mentoring is win-win!

Lacking the knowledge, experience, and maturity of their parents, the benefits young persons can reap from a relationship with a mentor can be substantial. If honestly pursued, it is well worth the effort put into the search. Here’s what’s in it for the mentee:

Greater knowledge and enhanced life skills
Development of wisdom and improved judgment
Access to a role model with regular and constructive feedback
Encouragement, increased confidence, and greater self-esteem
Personal and professional network referrals and opportunities
Improved satisfaction with his or her life.

Thoughtful adults who can provide responsible mentorship during this important time in a young person’s life also derive significant dividends. Here’s the upside for the mentor:

Sharing one’s skills, experience, and wisdom
Providing a young person with advice, moral support, and direction
Serving as an exemplar that the mentee can seek to emulate
Enhanced personal satisfaction and feelings of self worth
Challenging discussions with others who have a fresh perspective
Learning new things and developing new networks.

Although it requires a substantial commitment of time and effort, the magic of mentoring can make a big difference in the lives of both mentor and mentee. For the mentee, it’s important to remember that you have to take ownership for yourself. While the mentor provides wisdom and expertise, ultimately you cut your own slice of the pie.